Words
by BellaPerea
Summary: A deeper look into the avenger's heart, embodied in annual letters addressed to the woman he loved—mom. Oneshot.


**A/N: Hello readers! Contrary to popular belief, I am not dead. I've simply been extremely occupied by all my school work. hell, school even took my summer! I've been under a lot of stress lately, especially with a bunch of college apps and tests, academics to keep up and a debate team to run. I super duper uber promise I'll try my best to update your favorites, but just give me some time to sort things out.**

**Anyway, this story's been lingering in my laptop since early April. It was scheduled to be released on Mother's Day, but I was getting busy that month and I wasn't satisfied with the way things turned out at first.**

**The reason why I want to share this now was because I'm watching some of the anime episodes that I read, and my heartstrings were pulled. Like WHOAH pulled. I realized that I've missed FF so much, but the mental block is just too much to handle. So here's something for you guys.**

**The idea for this story came when I was once researching the birthdays of characters [yeahp, I'm a certified weirdo], and I saw that Uchiha Mikoto's birthday fell very near Mother's Day. I decided that I wanted to explore Sasuke's relationship with his mother, because it was never fully realized in the story. Sasuke himself is a whiny "I hate Itachi, Naruto, Konoha, etc. etc." all the time, but judging from the few episodes featuring the Uchiha family, it seems he was very attached to his mother.**

**So please enjoy the story! If you feel like reviewing, go ahead! It's highly encouraged to do so! x**

**~ Bella**

* * *

_Dear Mom,_

_I know I don't necessarily have to do this, I know, but I need someone to talk to. You always said that I could go to you for anything, right? I don't actually recall taking up that offer, and I regret it. I wanted to be strong, because Father says—_said—_that shinobi don't cry to their mothers. I shouldn't have listened to him. Now that I want to talk to you...well, I'm too late, aren't I?_

_Your favorite thing to ask me was how my day went. _

_Well, today wasn't so bad, for Mother's day. Since most of us have no mothers (save for Sakura, who has her perfect little family), we were sent on simple D-rank missions. We had to find a _cat. _A _CAT, _mom. You know how much I hate cats._

_At first, I thought the day would go on to be pretty bad. As I said, I don't like cats. But a few hours later, Sakura came by the training field with a cake. She said she felt bad that none of us had mothers to appreciate anymore, so she decided to spend the day with us. Of course, being the "men" we are (and Naruto), we tried to decline, she insisted._

_In a way, I was inspired to visit the family compound again. I haven't visited it for months, and realized it's about time I should. If only you were here mom. They look horrible without you caring to the grounds. The weeds are overgrown and the trees and bushes are untrimmed._

_You know, I think I'll get some gardening done._

_I fixed up a few things, mom. But they still don't look clean enough. You wouldn't want to come back here. It brings up too much. _

_I still haven't found Itachi. I can just hear Father's voice telling me how pitiful I am compared to him. But I'll be patient. I'll wait. I'm not strong enough, yet. But I've been learning under Kakashi, the Copy-nin. I hope it's enough._

_It _will_ be enough. I'll avenge your death, Mom. _

_I miss you._

_Happy mother's day...and, happy birthday._

_Sasuke_

Age 12

* * *

_Dear Mom,_

_It's me again. It's been about a...year, since I last wrote, right? A lot has changed in a year. I'm feeling more alone than ever. I ran away from the village. Kind of hypocritical, but if that's what it takes to get revenge over what Itachi did to you, then it's a chance I'll take._

_I'm just not sure if its the right one._

_Don't tell anyone mom, but I've gotten quite attached to my team. Kakashi has taught me a lot. He even taught me something akin to his one original technique. Regardless of how lazy he appears to be, he can teach someone very well._

_Father would probably strangle me if he knew, but I've made friends with the Kyuubi container. He's not that bad, once you get to know him. He's challenged me, and I've been lacking such since..._HE _left. But no matter. Naruto is always there to make me feel superior and acknowledged._

_Itachi wanted me to _kill_ him. He wanted me to murder my best friend._

_But I left him alive. I left him alive because...well, I'm telling myself that I simply didn't want to agree with Itachi and transform into some sick, twisted younger version of him. I was not going to let him be right. I tell myself that is the reason I left him alive._

_But I know it isn't. I didn't have it in me to kill someone grown onto me like a brother. _

_Does that make me too weak to avenge you, mom?_

_I have to forget about that for a moment. _

_Then of course, there's the kunoichi. If I had written this letter a year and a half ago, I would've said that Sakura was an extremely annoying fangirl. Now...I don't know. Like everyone else, she's grown onto me. I guess, she just reminds me of what it was like to be taken care of. And she has a good head on her shoulders. She isn't the "Oh Sasuke_-kun_, I'll catch a paper bomb for you!" type. She's more of the "Sasuke-kun, GET OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE THAT THING EXPLODES" type. Which is, in reality, very interesting, and refreshing. I kept thinking that if I do return to Konoha...maybe she's the one?_

_Nope, she'll probably be happy by herself after a few months. After all, I was the one that left her on the bench crying. She'll hate me after that._

_(I can honestly imagine you scolding me for doing that. How improper it is. I wish you could.)_

_I should just...leave her, and the rest of them behind me, to avenge my true family._

_I just wonder why I can't._

_Does that make me weak?_

_I want to avenge you, mom. But...are there other things worth existing for? _

_Oh, and before I end this—happy mother's day; happy birthday._

_Sasuke_

Age 13

* * *

_Dear mom,_

_It's been so long. Two years, in fact, since I remember writing something to you. I guess I've just been busy with training. Yes, training. With the Sannin Orochimaru. I may dislike the man, but he's been helping me improve my skills in order to avenge you. Truth be told, yes, I have learned much from him. But he has a goal that I do not share. I know that if I don't kill him soon, I might just..._

_...ugh, I don't even want to think about it._

_The knuckle-headed Naruto and the rest of Team Seven came to look for me. I've gone over this with them several times. I _can't_ go back. I _won't_, not until Itachi is dead. I _need_ to kill him. He's made me feel alone...so alone. _

_It's his damn fault._

_Imagine Mom, if you and Father and the rest of the clan were still here with us. I wouldn't even have to do this. I'll get strong with the help of Father and...Itachi. I'd probably have him breathing down my neck every single moment, but I'd surpass him sooner or later. I'd probably be hanging out with friends. Maybe going on dates, then embarrassing myself when the girl falls for Itachi (like they used to). I'd be enjoying one of you special tomato onigiris every time I come home from a mission. I'd tell you about my inferior teammates, but that they're actually enjoyable to be with._

Enjoyable.

_I'd be enjoying life._

_Why did Itachi have to do that, Mom? Did he tell you? All he told me was that I'm weak, like the rest of the family. I've often wondered how that could be true, but...seeing as he slaughtered the whole clan in one night..._

_I don't know._

_No one's here to tell me why._

_Happy mother's day, and happy birthday. _

_Sasuke_

Age 15

* * *

_Dear mom,_

_Happy mother's day, and happy birthday. _

_This past year has gone as I had planned. I killed the Sannin Orochimaru before he could...go forward with his...goal. And...I found Itachi. To my knowledge we fought just hours ago. He was going to kill me. He was going to take my eyes right out of my sockets. I lost the fight. Itachi won._

_But he died._

_He died poking me on the forehead like he used to. When he couldn't explain why he couldn't be with me. Was that it?_

_I felt slightly disappointed, especially when he smiled. He _smiled_. Coldblooded murderer, Uchiha Itachi, _smiled_ at his foolish younger brother. _

_The problem is, I'm not entirely sure if I was disappointed in him, or in myself._

_But it isn't illegal to hate both of us. You would too, if you saw the two of us fighting. You'd scold the both of us, telling me to respect my older brother, then telling Itachi not to stoop to a child's level._

_But we both grew up._

_We grew up fast._

_I guess that's how life is, without a mom._

_Killing Itachi didn't bring you back. There is no amount of comfort in killing him. Maybe there is, but it's just that I'm not angry anymore. I'm not angry, but I'm not happy either. I'm not even content. Mother, I think I'm...empty._

* * *

"Sasuke,"

The Uchiha opened his eyes. He wasn't in the back of a moving jail anymore. No, he was simply in a regular old jail rooted to the ground with heavy stone walls, a thin mattress and his blonde comrade standing across him.

"Naruto,"

"Glad you're awake." The sixteen-year old boy gave a soft, but tired smile. He was full of relief seeing his lost teammate back in Konoha, regardless of the fact that he was back in Konoha, in a jail cell.

"Where are we?" Sasuke demanded, sitting up from the mattress. He realized that he had passed out. He knew he had lost a lot of blood. He felt himself drift in and out of sleep several times. Once, he had woken up with a blank scroll, ink and a brush beside him. So he wrote to the one person who could listen.

"We're home, Sasuke. Are you happy?" Naruto informed his teammate, then inquired his feeling to it.

When Sasuke didn't answer, Naruto pulled out a scroll from his unzipped jacket's inner pocket. He unraveled it and started reading aloud.

"_Don't tell anyone mom, but I've gotten quite attached to my team. Kakashi has taught me a lot. He even taught me something akin to his one original technique. Regardless of how lazy he appears to be, he can teach someone very well._"

Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction of an inch as he knew Naruto was reading from his letters to his deceased mother. He moved to stop him, but decided against it. The blonde noticed his discomfort with an uncharacteristic glare, but continued reading.

"_Father would probably strangle me if he knew, but I've made friends with the Kyuubi container. He's not that bad, once you get to know him. He's challenged me, and I've been lacking such since..._HE _left. But no matter. Naruto is always there to make me feel superior and acknowledged._

_Itachi wanted me to _kill_ him. He wanted me to murder my best friend._

_But I left him alive. I left him alive because...well, I'm telling myself that I simply didn't want to agree with Itachi and transform into some sick, twisted younger version of him. I was not going to let him be right. I tell myself that is the reason I left him alive._

_But I know it isn't. I didn't have it in me to kill someone grown onto me like a brother."_

Sasuke saw Naruto waver. He seemed to be scanning the page with a disappointed look. He cerulean eyes were shining with tears that threatened to fall. The Uchiha didn't know why, but he knew it had something to do with Sakura. The blonde then continued to read, his voice shaky.

"_Then of course, there's the kunoichi. If I had written this letter a year and a half ago, I would've said that Sakura was an extremely annoying fangirl. Now...I don't know. Like everyone else, she's grown onto me. I guess, she just reminds me of what it was like to be taken care of. And she has a good head on her shoulders. She isn't the "Oh Sasuke_-kun_, I'll catch a paper bomb for you!" type. She's more of the "Sasuke-kun, GET OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE THAT THING EXPLODES" type. Which is, in reality, very interesting, and refreshing. I kept thinking that if I do return to Konoha...maybe she's the one?_

_Nope, she'll probably be happy by herself after a few months. After all, I was the one that left her on the bench crying. She'll hate me after that."_

Naruto slammed the scroll shut, and his blue eyes met charcoal ones. The matter must've been seriously grave, since there was no toothy grin or any sign of happiness to be seen on the blonde's usually cheerful face.

"Sasuke...if she was the one...then why did you..." Naruto stumbled around the words sadly, as if he didn't have the determination to say them.

"Why did I _what_?" The raven-haired male seethed, absolutely unsure of what the other was trying to hint. He hadn't seen ear or hair of the rosette kunoichi since they had come across each other in the grass base, just about a year ago.

Naruto looked back up at him, but his eyes were glowing an angry red. "Why did you...why did you _KILL Sakura-chan_?"

The scroll's wooden support snapped in Naruto's clenched hand. Not a moment later, their gray-haired sensei appeared, grabbing hold of the Kyuubi container before he could leap and attack. Kakashi threw his blonde student to the ground. He was then picked up by another Konoha shinobi and brought out of the cramped jail cell.

"Kakashi," Sasuke acknowledged his former teacher. "What the hell was that idiot talking about?"

The older shinobi sighed. Sasuke could see in his one visible eye that he was definitely aging, in a physical and mental way. It took a while for the jounin to compose himself before explaining.

"We found you after your battle for Itachi. You passed out. Sakura was the first to approach you. She's a successful medic-nin, did you know?" For a second, Kakashi was amused by how much his only lingering student had progressed. His face then sobered after a few chuckles. "She was healing you. You regained consciousness, then accused her of trying to kill you. You were probably disoriented and confused. You didn't recognize her.

"Next thing you know, Kusanagi's cut all the way through her side."

* * *

_Dear Sakura,_

_I can tell the blank paper time and time again how much I regret every single decision I've made so far. Stupid me. Stupid, blind me. I was blind to all the care you've given an idiot like me. I can't help but..hate myself._

_Ugh, Sakura, how could _you_ be so stupid? It's a waste to even try with me. Why did you do that? Why did you continue saving me even with a gaping hole in your side?_

_I know you can never forgive me. I can't even forgive myself._

_But I know there's someone there who can take care of you. Up there...yeah, you'd be perfect to join her. I trust the both of you to take care of each other._

_Maybe, up there, you can find an Uchiha Mikoto. You'd get along perfectly. _

_She's my mom. _


End file.
